Wizardry #4:

Hawkwind's wisecracks

by Snafaru

Near the end of the game you meet Lord Hawkwind of Skara-Brae, Elfin ninja -- the last member of the softalk all-stars.

He is a good ninja with a very low (VL) armor class and 1000 hit points.

You must summon a certain monster to defeat him. Otherwise, any attempts at harming him are met with the following wisecracks:




Reads: "Pikestaff"

Answers his mail

Files his nails

Sends out for sushi

Ignores you

Pets his dragons

Pays for the sushi

Feeds sushi to his dragons!

Pretends to take a nap

Really falls asleep! (from boredom)

Wakes up!

Brushes his teeth

Brews tea

Oils his blade

Says his morning prayer

Petitions to offer you as a sacrifice

Fills out Sacrificial Order in tripicle form

Gets approval for your sacrifice

Binds and gags you!

Puts you on the sacrificial altar

Anoits you with sacrificial oil!

Sacrifices you to Kadorto!